Friendship after 50

“When you’re down and troubled and you need some loving care and nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there. I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night. You just call out my name-you’ll know I’ll come running to see you again. Winter, Summer, Spring and Fall, all you got to do is call and I’ll be there, you’ve got a friend.” Carol King 1971

Having fun again, let your little girl shine!

Making good friends has always been difficult for me especially now since I’m older. I didn’t always know who I was as a woman and didn’t know what I could offer a friend, and now I know who I am and always growing and definitely know what I can offer a woman friend!

Science states that to increase your chances of living a long, happy life, having a bunch of acquaintances just won’t do it for you. You need a diverse well-rounded bunch of friends that will stick with you through thick and thin.

There are eight different types of friends according to Chiara Fucarino, Founding Editor at Oomphify Lifestyle Magazine. Perhaps you can think of more.

1). A Best Friend-this is the kind of friend who does not judge you, knows all your darkest secrets but still loves you the same. I have a good male friend from college that tells me like it is but with a sense of humor. It was much easier when I was younger and in school.

2). A fearless adventurer- This is the kind of friend that will introduce us to new ideas, cultures, philosophies and activities. I did go out with a guy who was from a different state and despite the fact that it didn’t work out, I traveled to different states and saw how different people can be outside of NY. That’s an entirely different story!

3). The brutally honest friend who will tell you like it is however, in a constructive way so you can hear it. For example, if you are in a bad relationship, they will tell you that this person is not good for you. These are the most valuable type of friends. This is the same person I am speaking about in the best friend type of friend; however, I don’t have a female friend like this and I would like one very much!

4). A wise mentor-We all need a friend who inspires us to be a better person without making us feel inadequate. Being around this type of person challenges us to better ourselves every day. This kind of friend is just someone who’s a few steps ahead of you and has enough patience to guide you in the right direction. This person can be from anywhere as long as you look up to them, trust them and want to be more like them. I would say this person would be my life/business coach and my health coaches as they are very passionate about what they do! I am that way now too and don’t mind doing work for my coaching business.

5). A friend from a different culture- Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs, values and traditions outside your own culture. They keep your mind open and if you come across someone that you hit it off with, make the effort to learn about their customs while getting to know them as a person. I have a good friend who is French and lives in France. I’ve known her since 1970 and we are still friends but not as close as we used to be. I am very friendly with her daughter and son-in-law who are in their 30’s.

6). A polar opposite-Instead of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you do. I have difficulty with this one and have acquaintances who I don’t see eye to eye with now.

7). A friendly neighbor-Nice dependable neighbors are there to have each other’s backs so please introduce yourself to your neighbors. I have two neighbors who we take care of each other’s cats and this is most valuable to each of us. 8). A Work Pal-If you are still working, you spend 50% of your waking hours at work, so find someone to hang out with to discuss matters at work. They don’t need to be your best friend but just someone you click with to make work more pleasant.

Now, since most of us over 50 or even over 60 are not currently working, making friends becomes a challenge.

I have used my creativity to find new friends that align with my new lifestyle. I have friends from swing and ballroom dancing, (I have been dancing for over 33 years!) but some of them got married and stopped dancing.

I found new friends who love dancing! I have friends from politics as I have been involved in politics for a long time since I was 12. Some of my friends from dancing are more than just acquaintances but most are just that.

I also have acquaintance friends from my arts and crafts classes and I want more than just acquaintances. I am now in the pursuit of good friends who we can be there for one another just like Carol King sings so eloquently!

This year I joined The Transition Network, a group of women over 50 who are seeking new friends to have as companions and to do common interests together. The link is thetransitionnetwork.org. It is a nationwide organization and each chapter has a website. I have met many new women whom I would like to get to know better and I am in the process of doing just that!

I also have formed a weekly group for Women over 50 Who Seek to Love Again!” I am only accepting 8 women so I can give you individual attention. Please take a look at the specifics at: lisabotwinick.com/glow-gals. You can make friends with those women too. I will be playing a game to get to know each other the first session. We all agree that we need to branch out and make new friends as sometimes our old friends change and we change.

If you’d like to join my MailChimp list, where I post on a topic, twice a month, or have a free complimentary session with me to discuss making friends, finding love, and being creative as a woman over 50, email me here: (coachlisa@lisabotwinick.com) or check out my website for more: www.lisabotwinick.com

Have fun and enjoy!